Brian, the babe they called Brian
He grew, he grew and grew
Grew up to be, grew up to be
A boy called Brian, a boy called Brian

He had arms and legs and hands and feet
This boy whose name was Brian
And he grew, grew and grew
Grew up to be, yes he grew up to be
A teenager called Brian, a teenager called Brian

And his face became spotty
Yes his face became spotty
And his voice dropped down low
And things started to grow on young Brian and so
He was suddenly no, no girl named Brian
Not a girl named Brian

And he started to shave
And have one off the wrist
And want to see girls
And go out and get pissed
A man called Brian
This man called Brian
The man they called Brian
This man called Brian